One recent evening in Darnassus, sitting together and watching the rain:
Etharion says: Something I need to tell you….
Etharion slides one hand down to lace his fingers with Thoran’s.
Thoran looks back at Eth. “Aye love?”
Etharion says: Know how I told you sometimes I get the sad?
Thoran nods. “Aye, I remember.”
Etharion says: I had a really bad one, recently.
Etharion says: Don’t know if you noticed any difference, but I didn’t want to tell you and worry you. It came and it passed.
Thoran nods. “I noticed. Still not sure ‘ow ta approach ya on stuff, so I did wot I t’ought best. Let ya be when ya went off by yerself, but tried ta be more…affectionate when ya were around.”
Etharion says: I just wanted to let you know…I love you, love you so much that sometimes it feels like my heart will burst. And I know you love me. Know Essilte loves me too. It’s not you fault I get sad sometimes. Not yours nor hers. It’s not because of something you did or didn’t do, or some failure, or whatever. It’s…it’s me.
Thoran says: Ya say t’at like I dun get it. I do. I dun understand why, but I know if it was me ya’d say somet’in’. T’is a battle ya ‘ave ta face, an’ t’ough we’d like ta ‘elp, t’e only t’ing we can do is be t’ere. Let ya know t’at we’re ‘ere, t’at we’re gonna wait it out an’ such. An’ we know t’at. An’ t’ere’s no ‘arm in it. In ya bein’ sad. As in t’ere’s no fault ya got.
Etharion hugs Thoran tighter. “Thank you for understanding.”
Etharion says: I know you’re there. It’s one of the things that does help.
Etharion says: I wish I wasn’t this way, Thoran. But when the dark times come, I can’t…snap out of it, no more than I could walk on a broken leg. I just have to wait it out, and you help me do that.
Thoran shrugs. “T’is t’e only t’ing I can be. T’ere. I’m not gonna abandon ya an’ all we’ve got cos ya get depressed. I’d never do t’at, ever.”
Thoran says: I know ya can’t love. Yer not t’e only one in t’e world like t’is. T’ough I’m sure it feels like it at times.
Etharion says: Sometimes. When the blues hit you, yeah, you feel singularly…like a failure. Like no one else could ever be such a failure. In normal times though I know full well other people suffer it too. Sometimes I wish….oh, I don’t know. Wish there was a way to help others with the same problem.
Thoran nods. “It’d be nice if ya could, but I d’nae ‘ave t’e ideas on ‘ow. Wish I did t’ough.”
Etharion kisses Thoran behind one ear. “If I get an idea, I’ll ramble about it to you.”
Thoran chuckles and tilts his head, allowing Eth more room if he wants it. “I’d like t’at. I like it when ya tell me yer ideas.”
Etharion says: In the meantime…thank you, love. For everything you do. Everything you are.
Thoran raises one of Eth’s hands to his lips, gently kisses his knuckles. “Ya make it easy fer me ta be who I am, Eth.”